This morning basically SUCKED! I could not sleep at all last night so waking up I was already not in the best mood then I went to meet with the woman in charge of distributing the international scholarships only to find out I am not elligable bc I was not at Sam last year. So feeling super defeated when I got home I tried doing homework and it just wasn't working out. So I decided to get on pinterest to try to motivate me find a quote or something. And I found a verse Isiah 43:4. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. I loved it because Jesus just flat out says "I love you" that is always a good reminder so then I decided I wanted to read the whole chapter 43. And I just fell in love with so many verses. But at the same time the Lord used in so many ways to open my eyes up to the bad and the just downfall I guess you can say I have been in. It made me realize that this trip I have been so excited to go was just away for me to run away. To just run away from everything that has been going on. My way to escape and forget all of it. When why would I wait till May to escape it when I need to be running to Jesus. I need him to be my rock and comforter through all this. After He talks to Jacob about all the wrong he has done in verse 25 it says "I am He who blots out your trangressions for my own sake, and I will NOT remember your sin" and I just started balling because Jesus is just so GOOD! I know that in my lifetime I have done horrible things and I have ran from him but he still keeps his arms open wide to me. And tells me he IGNORES all that I have done for HIS sake. Not for my sake! So why am I running away from my problems? when I can be running to Jesus. Why am I not going on this trip to be light to the family I'll be living with, to the students I'll be going with and spending all my time with? It gave me a whole new outlook on this trip. Now I am not praying the finically for this trip but I am praying because I believe the Lord is sending me to be His hands and feet.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Seeking Him.
So I have a lot to let out.
I did an internship a couple years and reflecting back on it I really believe I went in wanting to figure out who I was in this whole christianity thing. In the internship I didn't find myself at all I was actually molded into something the internship wanted me to be. But one thing I found that would later help me figure out who I was, was I found a lot of Jesus (Praise God)! After my internship I did a year at a community college and that year was when I figured out who I was what I wanted and all that stuff. I am so truly thankful for the people that helped me figure that stuff out along the way but more than anything! I am SO truly thankful that I found Jesus because He has formed my walk to His will. I went through heartbreak thinking it was the end of my world when in reality it was just opening my world up! Praise God for my year of seeking him and knowing he was in control! Because if not like I said my world would be over. But thanks to unanswered prayers I am finding myself heading over seas in a couple of months. Just thinking about stepping off the plane in Spain my heart flairs up with overwhelming joy! And I just can't help but know that Jesus truly shaped my life knowing all this was going to happen. He didn't send me into a battle to be defeated but he sent me into a battle knowing I wouldn't be able to handle it and knew I would need him to step in. He knew where I was heading in life was based off what I thought was right for me and not what HE had planned. Like the scripture in Proverbs 21:19 Many are the plans in a man heart but the will of God prevails. I just can't express how truly thankful I am for HIS will. And truly thankful that I DESIRE to live my life off HIS will and NOT MY own. Just thinking about Him guarding my plans makes my heart stand even more in awe at Him.
I did an internship a couple years and reflecting back on it I really believe I went in wanting to figure out who I was in this whole christianity thing. In the internship I didn't find myself at all I was actually molded into something the internship wanted me to be. But one thing I found that would later help me figure out who I was, was I found a lot of Jesus (Praise God)! After my internship I did a year at a community college and that year was when I figured out who I was what I wanted and all that stuff. I am so truly thankful for the people that helped me figure that stuff out along the way but more than anything! I am SO truly thankful that I found Jesus because He has formed my walk to His will. I went through heartbreak thinking it was the end of my world when in reality it was just opening my world up! Praise God for my year of seeking him and knowing he was in control! Because if not like I said my world would be over. But thanks to unanswered prayers I am finding myself heading over seas in a couple of months. Just thinking about stepping off the plane in Spain my heart flairs up with overwhelming joy! And I just can't help but know that Jesus truly shaped my life knowing all this was going to happen. He didn't send me into a battle to be defeated but he sent me into a battle knowing I wouldn't be able to handle it and knew I would need him to step in. He knew where I was heading in life was based off what I thought was right for me and not what HE had planned. Like the scripture in Proverbs 21:19 Many are the plans in a man heart but the will of God prevails. I just can't express how truly thankful I am for HIS will. And truly thankful that I DESIRE to live my life off HIS will and NOT MY own. Just thinking about Him guarding my plans makes my heart stand even more in awe at Him.
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