Running the wrong direction

This morning basically SUCKED! I could not sleep at all last night so waking up I was already not in the best mood then I went to meet with the woman in charge of distributing the international scholarships only to find out I am not elligable bc I was not at Sam last year. So feeling super defeated when I got home I tried doing homework and it just wasn't working out. So I decided to get on pinterest to try to motivate me find a quote or something. And I found a verse Isiah 43:4. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. I loved it because Jesus just flat out says "I love you" that is always a good reminder so then I decided I wanted to read the whole chapter 43. And I just fell in love with so many verses. But at the same time the Lord used in so many ways to open my eyes up to the bad and the just downfall I guess you can say I have been in. It made me realize that this trip I have been so excited to go was just away for me to run away. To just run away from everything that has been going on. My way to escape and forget all of it. When why would I wait till May to escape it when I need to be running to Jesus. I need him to be my rock and comforter through all this. After He talks to Jacob about all the wrong he has done in verse 25 it says "I am He who blots out your trangressions for my own sake, and I will NOT remember your sin" and I just started balling because Jesus is just so GOOD! I know that in my lifetime I have done horrible things and I have ran from him but he still keeps his arms open wide to me. And tells me he IGNORES all that I have done for HIS sake. Not for my sake! So why am I running away from my problems? when I can be running to Jesus. Why am I not going on this trip to be light to the family I'll be living with, to the students I'll be going with and spending all my time with? It gave me a whole new outlook on this trip. Now I am not praying the finically for this trip but I am praying because I believe the Lord is sending me to be His hands and feet.